Avoid Sounding Stuffy. Try a Less Stilted Tone.
English language becomes tricky in that multiple nuances exist in our writing. As business communicators, we risk sounding awful to work with by omitting warmth in our tone. In this blog, we tackle something many communicators ask us: How do I sound less formal (and therefore reasonable and easy to get along with) in my writing, and with that, business speaking, too? Some small, potentially powerful tips follow.
Add a Warm Greeting
Brevity rules. However, we can always find time to greet our reader by name. In doing so, we start building a relationship. You might also repeat the reader’s name towards the end when you appeal to them on why your ask (or the information you share) feels important. When surveying business students at the master’s level on which salutation irritates them the most, unanimously, “All” came first followed by “Hi.” Which salutation triggered the most fear? No greeting at all.
Open Up
Often we sound warmer when we make ourselves a little vulnerable, too. If your message asks your readers to do something, or, informs readers of something new, then, share why this idea matters to you. What’s at stake? If your message outlines the need for your team to find better work-life balance, for instance, tell us (in a few sentences) you get it. You’re struggling to avoid burnout, too.
A few lovely examples of open tone exist including this rare glimpse at an email from Apple Inc. icon Steve Jobs. The most revealing sentence: “Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see any other alternatives. Do you?” Honest and open. Straightforward and well written.
Use Personal Pronouns
If we want to sound warm and affable, then, avoid stating your company name when you’re meaning you. For instance, “I’d love for you to host our workshop,” vs. “Hanging Rock hopes you’ll host our workshop.”
Also, avoid style issues including passive voice, false subjects, and camouflaged verbs which can create a lofty, non-audience centered tone. Let’s dissect a real-world sentence for fodder:
This is not an investigation of the mistakes that have been made.
This sentence contains a false subject (this is), a camouflaged verb (investigation), followed by the passive (mistakes that have been made).
The BBC World News guest who made this quote sounded authoritative and in-charge to my ear, but not warm. If the expert wanted to sound personable and likable instead, an edit might read:
We’re not investigating the mistakes you’ve made.
Make the Message Reader-Centered
Often, we improve our tone by thinking about our reader vs. what’s best for us. For example: If we’re asking our team to take a survey, make it clear in the lead of our message what they get in return. If we know the survey takes time, state that understanding up front; then, counter with the honest benefits. By structuring the message to ensure the reader understands the intent (and goal) of the message and by preempting their worries, already, we sound more thoughtful, more considerate.
Now you’ve some easy, quick fixes for warming up how your message sounds to your readers. Fingers and toes crossed, they’ll read/listen until the end!
