Make 2021 the Year For Less Public Speaking Fear (Part II)
Part two of a two-part series on managing and rebounding from the discomfort most of us feel when speaking to an unfamiliar, high-stakes crowd. Part one lives here.
Carve Out Opportunities to Speak
What truly helped me overcome my public speaking fear was teaching on campus one summer at UNC Chapel Hill. I taught two, two-hour, back-to-back journalism classes on Mondays and Wednesdays for four months. (That's a lot of condensed teaching!) I noticed by the fourth class, as I lectured and facilitated discussion, the typical panic signs no longer surfaced. (I'd taught for many years already; but not this frequently.)
The repetition meant I could call the bluff of my inner Judge's lies because none of my fears came true. In fact, the opposite happened. My students made me feel accepted and quite adored. They learned. We laughed. And I had the answers for most questions. The confidence boost from overcoming this fear felt HUGE.
In the absence of a role demanding you speak publicly (and often), join a Toastmaster’s club for opportunities for practicing your craft. Create opportunities within your work and community to speak. Lida Citroen, author and reputation management consultant, speaks to large organizations on topics ranging from assimilating veterans in the work place and personal branding. (Her Ted Talk lives here.) Citroen says her early starts came from "small-player" opportunities—churches, PTA meetings, her son’s baseball team and small business clubs. In these non-paying, low-stakes settings, she experimented with exercises, approaches, and even humor. The more proficient she became, the bigger the audience (and client). Often audience members invited her to speak at their company, too.
Manage Verbal Filler and Prepare
Anxiety manifests itself in multiple ways; however, verbal filler (and back tracking) remain some of the larger symptoms I see in those I coach. We all insert the occasional ‘um’ or ‘uh’ when we address an audience; too much becomes distracting and reveals our fear. Consider these tips:
Yoga breathe through the urge. As you feel verbal filler surfacing, breathe through the tendency instead. You might also try Positive Intelligence's PQ reps technique where you become mindful of one sense at a time to get out of your mind and into your body.
Apply a short (but detailed) structure to each point you wish to make (and keep to that cheat sheet). Often, we insert filler when we can’t remember what we want to say. Having a three-prong bulleted list for each concept helps us focus (and becomes one big gift of online presentations. Nobody sees what's behind your screen.)
Practice and read any notes out loud to hear where your sentences might become too long, repetitive, or awkward. If you trip over a word, revise for a simpler one. (Practicing helps us prepare and reduces anxiety around how we perform. If you're presenting on site, try accessing the room for practice. This step reduces fears around how you'll appear in the room.)
Use deliberate pausing. If we employ pausing as a tool, we give ourselves a moment to reflect and push through the urge. (Watch Steve Jobs' revered presentation on the iPhone at Mac World. He paused like a pro. Former president Barack Obama and Michelle Obama also pause beautifully while matching their emotions and body language to their words.) Drawing as you present becomes another magical way to control filler. When we draw, we're focused on the form or model we're illustrating and naturally slow down.
Take Comfort That Others Share Your Fear
Not only do 77% of Americans shudder at speaking publicly, many famous people also suffer from chronic presenting fear. Sir Richard Branson outed himself as someone with this issue (thank you, Mr. Branson!) and wrote in a vulnerable way about his journey in this delightful article. Proficient actors and sportspeople including Julia Roberts, Bruce Willis, Tiger Woods, and Emily Blunt all have publicly shared childhood stuttering problems they feared would stall their careers. Prince Harry has publicly shared he feels terrified speaking to men in ties and suits. Actor Nicholas Brandon even served as honorary chairperson of the Stuttering Foundation of America’s Stuttering Awareness Week for three consecutive years.
As you think of your public speaking opportunities ahead, I hope these tips help call the bluff of any inner fear or lingering inner judgment. As America’s revered author Mark Twain once said, only two types of speakers exist: The nervous and the liars. We’re all in good company if we feel nerves; through practice, strategy, and knowing your problems a shared one, you will manage and rebound from those fears, too.
